Sleeplessness

So it is two in the morning and I can not sleep. I have just had a fredo after being chased by another cat wanting to be friends. I sort of realised I was in love today, or at least I think I am. I was surprised that my heart could open so quickly after losing someone, especially someone I really cared for. I know it is common to feel you will never love again, but I really couldn’t imagine it. And thereby I was loving, desiring, feeling. One half shut out from life’s feast and the other taken in.

I think I jus fell in love with this place I am living in, and perhaps the people in it. It’s hard thinking about leaving in five months, not sure I am ready to.

And my heart is still in shock, I still can’t listen to certain songs, hardly any music. It is so weird this being in pain and being content.

And I don’t know how to sleep at all, or where I go from here in life. I try and let it unfold in front of me. And yet here I am not knowing how to sleep. 

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