Stuck on the Artist's Way
It is Sunday. I am going over some courses, some past YALP hand outs, some processing of pain and loss. I added my two pence on the moodle course discussion.
I have lost that sense of centred silence, but I am meditating in the Buddhist tradition again. I have calmed down, after the anger comes the sadness and wishing things had been different. I decided to work on finding a place of non judgement for all the painful things that have recently happened to me.
It is going to take a lot of work.
I am now waiting for it to pass, for the heart to heal. It is a waiting game. To come to terms, to come to acceptance that this is how things are now. A part of me was shocked into realising that of course I could be hurt and heart broken all over again. of course I could be horribly mangled by love all over again. It is sad, but I will be in love, and I will be heart broken time and time again, there is no escape from this cycle, though perhaps some people will hurt us more than others.
We are in love, and blind, vulnerable, holding our hands out hoping for love and acceptance, and we don't always see the round house kick to the head coming.
I read in the Artist's Way that when we are in pain we must pay attention to the here and the now. This is the only way we will begin to heal. The past and the future are overwhelming, and this is the only way forward, to think and feel and be one moment at a time.
I want to move away from the Artist's Way, something about my most recent life grief just kind of kills the forward motion. My artist's dates stopped, and everything has closed down to just emergency functioning. I think I will change to a different book I took out at Wordbook, and save the Artist's Way for another time (unless it's better to stick it out)??.
Self respect is of course important. How others treat us is normally a reflection of how little or how much they love themselves. It can be hard not to let it get to you, but they shouldn't have control over your self worth.
So they don't like your behaviour, if they respect you and themselves they will talk to you, express their anger, if not, they will go behind your back and be underhand, aggressive and hurtful.
Anger poorly expressed can turn into aggression. And suppression in general does no one that much good and can lead to explosions. Take it their choice says something about them and their ability to cope, not you right now. Not easy.
My YALP project is kind of non existent. I will get a chance to work on it one day. I take each day slowly, as it comes.
Slowly, as it comes.
I have lost that sense of centred silence, but I am meditating in the Buddhist tradition again. I have calmed down, after the anger comes the sadness and wishing things had been different. I decided to work on finding a place of non judgement for all the painful things that have recently happened to me.
It is going to take a lot of work.
I am now waiting for it to pass, for the heart to heal. It is a waiting game. To come to terms, to come to acceptance that this is how things are now. A part of me was shocked into realising that of course I could be hurt and heart broken all over again. of course I could be horribly mangled by love all over again. It is sad, but I will be in love, and I will be heart broken time and time again, there is no escape from this cycle, though perhaps some people will hurt us more than others.
We are in love, and blind, vulnerable, holding our hands out hoping for love and acceptance, and we don't always see the round house kick to the head coming.
I read in the Artist's Way that when we are in pain we must pay attention to the here and the now. This is the only way we will begin to heal. The past and the future are overwhelming, and this is the only way forward, to think and feel and be one moment at a time.
I want to move away from the Artist's Way, something about my most recent life grief just kind of kills the forward motion. My artist's dates stopped, and everything has closed down to just emergency functioning. I think I will change to a different book I took out at Wordbook, and save the Artist's Way for another time (unless it's better to stick it out)??.
Self respect is of course important. How others treat us is normally a reflection of how little or how much they love themselves. It can be hard not to let it get to you, but they shouldn't have control over your self worth.
So they don't like your behaviour, if they respect you and themselves they will talk to you, express their anger, if not, they will go behind your back and be underhand, aggressive and hurtful.
Anger poorly expressed can turn into aggression. And suppression in general does no one that much good and can lead to explosions. Take it their choice says something about them and their ability to cope, not you right now. Not easy.
My YALP project is kind of non existent. I will get a chance to work on it one day. I take each day slowly, as it comes.
Slowly, as it comes.
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