The End of Day 4 - Avoiding Quaker Sterotypes

I don't know about you, but I was amazed that Quakers like to do things in a medieval manner when it comes to gardening. In every other direction, Quakers avoid the stereotypes which the outside world will place upon them (think Quaker oats), but are happy in handing a scythe to a young adult friend and allow them to hack that over grown bank away by hand. My group did some good gardening today, though I mostly sat, watched, took pictures, and drank tea. I wish I wasn't ill, but I am ill.

Woodbrook is a good place to be ill. Though it's hierarchical structure mark it out in Quaker terms, it is peaceful, and the encased by woodland. I suppose the presence of hierarchy reminds me of 'ideals' and 'reality'. Quakers were incredibly gender equal in the first fifteen years, but after this, had to restrict the freedom of women to appear respectable. 

My disappointment in this fact probably revealed more about my own ideals and projections. Not only have I searched for truth, but also for equality and freedom. I had a whole radical rebellion, and all for what? To discover I had to compromise to survive. That the search for equality was such a deep part of me, but at best, I might only find it in part?

Where to next? Perhaps the ideas inside my mind are always far more beautiful than the reality. Is this how I felt about academic? Is it all the same story? Is this really myself I am coming to terms with, as well as the reality of the outer world?

I am just reading up on INTP as a personality profile. I am not the only person who resents Myers Briggs in some deep way, suspicious it is out to box me into a corner and throw away the key. A lot of the group were Feeling types, and I am slowly coming to terms with this potential reality I might not be as feeling as I thought previously. Some of INTP does sound like me, but I wouldn't say exactly like me. 

I struggle expressing my emotions, but I think I have more of an idea of the emotional needs of others than the profile allows for (or have had this beaten into me at some stage, probably post the institution whom shall not be named). I definitely feel the pain of not really knowing how to express love for someone or emotional needs. 

Perhaps being around Quakers and spiritual people has helped me be more emotionally expressive than I was previously. I definitely feel some social rules and expectations to just be illogical, and kind of pointless, perhaps I am not alone in this.   

It is interesting to explore personality profiling, though probably best not to take it too seriously. I might try and guess other people's personality types, and do some of the 'growth' goals recommended for INTP people, as a part of my spiritual development. 

I think I will class myself as a INT/FP, person, who is not strongly feeling or thinking. I shall sit on the fence, or/and hack to pieces the underlying structure of the 16 types.

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