Day 4 - Dealing with Difference

Post surviving the full on medieval Quaker gardening experience, we had a gentle afternoon discussing Myers Briggs. I hoped to think more about dealing with difference, especially after my year or so long disillusionment with various establishments, and though Myers Briggs was a fairly good way into explaining how people are just different, perhaps I had hope for a survival guide to a non Quaker world.

We completed a series of tasks and exercises which made us begin to think about which type we might be, and I was surprised by where I seemed to be ending up. I always had a chip on my shoulder about this personality test, I can never square myself with the result or entirely accept it.

I can't accept or decide whether I am more strongly a feeler or a thinker, and it seems to leave me pretty angst ridden and dissatisfied. I normally come out as an INFP, but after doing the exercises today, I was an INTP. Not sure what to make of that, other than perhaps one day I will pay to get it done professionally to escape the factor of my over analytical self.

I discovered that I prefer people to be up front and find avoidance in conflict situations to be illogical. As someone said, to avoid dealing with someone so as not to create pain in their life, is also a choice, which probably caused pain. Certainly I have experienced this in the past, and it is now my number one hate when dealing with people and potentially pain causing experiences.

If I am INTP, I suppose it would explain why I am a fan of Spock.

Anyway, the point was learning about each other so that we could manage our differences (aside from debating the very basis of this rather subjective test and arguing about cultural factors involved), and one of the major sticking points was whether a person was a P or a J, or a perceptive or a judge, or spontaneous or a planner. I am a spontaneous person trapped in a family of the highly organised, so I know the pain of this all to well. How to communicate and cross the divide?

Answers on a post card before next family Christmas, please. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Song of the Sea Lisa Hannigan Lyrics

"Song Of The Sea"  [Gaelic:] Idir ann is idir as Idir thuaidh is idir theas Idir thiar is idir thoir Idir am is idir áit Casann sí dhom Amhrán na farraige Suaimhneach nó ciúin Ag cuardú go damanta Mo ghrá Idir gaoth is idir tonn Idir tuilleadh is idir gann Casann sí dhom Amhrán na Farraige Suaimhneach nó ciúin Ag cuardú go damanta Idir cósta, idir cléibh Idir mé is idir mé féin Tá mé i dtiúin  [English:] Between the here, between the now Between the north, between the south Between the west, between the east Between the time, between the place From the shell A song of the sea Neither quiet nor calm Searching for love again Mo ghrá (My love)  Between the winds, between the waves Between the sands, between the shore From the shell A song of the sea Neither quiet nor calm Searching for love again Between the stones, between the storm Between belief, between the sea Tá mé i dtiúin (I am in tune)
Read more

Loss: Advices and Queries

Some situations which cause pain or suffering are avoidable, so part of our learning must be to analyse the situation and see if this is such a case. If it is, we must try to prevent it happening again. But perhaps the most painful situations are those that are apparently beyond our control. Another part of our learning is to recognise that there is unfairness, uncertainty, fear, loneliness and hurt in this world; learning to accept that this is the nature of the world can, of itself, be painful. Initially we may be able to do little, bound up in an acute, self-centred pain. As we try to cope with the anger, the pain and grief that come through some unhappy experience, we can learn a lot about the less-well-articulated, darker sides of our personality. These darker aspects should not be ignored. Although we tend to equate evil with darkness, we should remember that in the plant world roots grow in the dark. Darkness (and shadows) are as much a part of the natural order as light. ...
Read more

Stuck on the Artist's Way

It is Sunday. I am going over some courses, some past YALP hand outs, some processing of pain and loss. I added my two pence on the moodle course discussion. I have lost that sense of centred silence, but I am meditating in the Buddhist tradition again. I have calmed down, after the anger comes the sadness and wishing things had been different. I decided to work on finding a place of non judgement for all the painful things that have recently happened to me. It is going to take a lot of work. I am now waiting for it to pass, for the heart to heal. It is a waiting game. To come to terms, to come to acceptance that this is how things are now. A part of me was shocked into realising that of course I could be hurt and heart broken all over again. of course I could be horribly mangled by love all over again. It is sad, but I will be in love, and I will be heart broken time and time again, there is no escape from this cycle, though perhaps some people will hurt us more than others. ...
Read more