The Wilder Gifts of the Spirit

I am trying to force myself to focus on reading the Arvon Brochure. I am not good at focusing, easily distracted. Anyway, I was told by the writing tutor at Woodbrooke I should take a formal journaling or life writing course, and I searched high and low for it, and never found it. I will have to go on another hunt for a spiritual writing course. Coming to think of it there were many little projects which didn't take off post the long course I did last year. I never got into learning about the early friends, or more about James Naylor, and I never went back over the course materials to learn more about an 'end times' spirituality. I am not too entirely sure what my project is, though my mentor thinks that my project will be this blog. I am not sure, because it feels a lot like cheating. I just produce blogs, its like a spider producing silk. What I did manage to do was get into using the Celtic Oracle I found at the centre, which was a shock to a few, I must admit. I wa...

So as a leaving present, my colleague actually gave me a copy of her own version of the 'The Artist's Way'. Is it time to try again? I am always saying how I should be more creative etc. I don't' really know the answer to that one. I have 'The Prosperous Heart' to get through at some stage. I keep replaying in my mind the day the writing tutor taught me that writing could be a means by which we communicate with the divine, and that I was just a writer, and that is basically who I was. The world just opened up to me that day, it was such a deep experience, standing beside the lake in Woodbrooke. I haven't finished the book, 'F*ck It,' perhaps because I would rather be reading Thomas Moore's, 'Care of the Soul.' I feel in need of a book which speaks to me on a deeper level, and lets me roll around there for a time. Post the end of my internship, I contemplated going back to meeting on a Sunday. I haven't done anything about t...

A week on from our wild trip to the north, and things are progressing along. I finally finished my book on Highly Sensitive People, and now I have space for the new spiritual reading I picked up last weekend. The book is called, 'F**k it,' and probably could be both light hearted and good for me. I thought whilst away that it would be good to go back to my morning pages. I managed to complete one set Monday morning. At least I tried. I had some inspiration perhaps a leading towards what my course project might end up being. I am not going to be too hopeful. Anything could happen. 

I don't think I will be going back to visit Wales this year. Not sure the broken pieces of my smashed up heart could take it, but one day, I will go back there. It will hurt like hell, but I know I should go. 

So, other than my rather trying somehow to heal from my forever broken heart, other things happened in the north, of a Quaker nature. We talked about our 'projects' we are meant to be working towards. This spirit lead project is not meant to be like a dissertation or anything connected to how we have been conditioned by our education or work, hence few of us have grasped how to go about doing one. It was cathartic to admit having done absolutely nothing, and to not be alone in that. But it was ok, and that is the liberating aspect of Quakerism. My project could start at the end of the Young Adult Leadership Course, and it would be fine. Totally fine. There is no deadline. I might have had a break through today with the idea of writing a spiritual journal. That is about it. Apart from the project we did workshops on conflict, and how to preform a meeting for clearness. I found both really helpful, and I think I will probably go back to the process for a meeting for clea...

I have more to report about my weekend away in Quakerland, apparently also starting to heal from crippling heart break. I came to the resolution that I hadn’t deserved the insensitivity that I was shown last summer. I don’t think anyone does. And I am not going to let how that person broke my heart ruin Wales, a country I am fond of, just because they also have a connection to the place. At least I will try. I guess it takes time to heal a broken heart, but it is good I decided I deserved better.

O And I would do anything for love I'd run right into hell and back I would do anything for love I'll never lie (again) to you and that's a fact But I'll never forget the way you feel right now - Oh no - - No way - And I would do anything for love But I won't do that , No I won't do- Anything for love Oh I would do anything for love I would do anything for love But I won't do that No I won't do that And some days it don't come easy And some days it don't come hard Some days it don't come at all And these are the days that never end And some nights you're breathing fire And some nights you're carved in ice Some nights you're like nothing I've ever Seen before, or will again And maybe I'm crazy Oh it's crazy and it's true I know you can save me No one else can save me now but you As long as the planets are turning As long as the stars are burning As long as your dreams a...