It is Sunday. I am going over some courses, some past YALP hand outs, some processing of pain and loss. I added my two pence on the moodle course discussion. I have lost that sense of centred silence, but I am meditating in the Buddhist tradition again. I have calmed down, after the anger comes the sadness and wishing things had been different. I decided to work on finding a place of non judgement for all the painful things that have recently happened to me. It is going to take a lot of work. I am now waiting for it to pass, for the heart to heal. It is a waiting game. To come to terms, to come to acceptance that this is how things are now. A part of me was shocked into realising that of course I could be hurt and heart broken all over again. of course I could be horribly mangled by love all over again. It is sad, but I will be in love, and I will be heart broken time and time again, there is no escape from this cycle, though perhaps some people will hurt us more than others. ...
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